You will be seeing many New Year’s blogs that are framed to be uplifting and inspiring. But I would like to be so bold as to say my suggestion really out-does them all.
Relationships are the key to any type of happiness. As humans, feeling loved is one of our most basic needs. If you want to improve your life in 2017, the way to do it is through improving your relationships!
So what should your New Year’s Resolutions be?!
MAKE AN EFFORT IN KEEPING YOUR CONNECTIONS
I got inspired to do this, because I recently moved to Arizona – away from all of my closest friends and family. And it is so important to me that I continue to be present in those relationships, even from far away. I’ve never had to do this before so I have been brainstorming ways, and I realized that this is something everyone needs to be working on. Here’s my tip list on ways to keep your connections!
What do I mean by connected?
It is too easy to let our closest relationships dwindle and fall to the wayside when we are apart from them. I know that I do not call my mom nearly enough just to ask her how she is. I call her when I am upset or having a tough time, but I could do a much better job at focusing on her. This is what I mean! My tips here are ways to put an effort into your close relationships that’s not based on ourselves. The focus here is to show these people that you’re thinking of them, you love them and they are important to you.
BIRTHDAYS
I know that not everyone loves to celebrate their day as much as I do. But everyone does like to feel important and thought of, and what better time than a dedicated day for them? My biggest resolution this year is to make an effort for my loved ones birthdays. Last week I sat down and wrote down each of my family member and best friend’s birthdays in my planner (you can go right to Facebook and see a list of everyone’s birthday!). Thoughtful gifts are of course always nice, but it’s really about reaching out, and showing that person you even remember it’s their birthday. My resolution is to at least send a card and give a real phone call (not text!) to everyone on their birthday.
ANNIVERSARIES
It probably need-not be said, but don’t forget to make an effort for your anniversary with your loved one! If you are one of those people who have a hard time remembering or thinking of something special, plan in advance. Write it down and ask your friends what they might suggest. A great gift is always, always quality time with your partner. Plan a time when just the two of you can go do something you both love.
CHECK INS
It is not very common any more to get a “just because” phone call, text, or e-mail. This has mostly fallen off, because social media gives a false sense that we are keeping up with someone. We see their posts and it feels like we know what is going on. But I find myself seeing a friends’ post, and then thinking, when was the last time that we actually spoke? This year, make an effort to check in with those people.. especially the ones that you can’t see often enough. Shoot them a “How are you?” text, out of the blue. E-mail them and let them know you’re thinking about them during their new transition to moving, job, school, etc. It’s not enough to like an Instagram or status!
PHONE CALLS
To follow up to this, I truly believe that a phone call is much much more meaningful than any other time of technology contact. We are all guilty of screening: not answering a call because it seems time consuming. But this year, answer those calls! Even better, call someone! Your grandmother or cousin or mom or brother would love to hear from you. If they’re busy, leave them a voicemail. They will hear it and feel loved.
MOVIES & ENTERTAINMENT
One thing that my fiancé and I did while we were long distance that helped us to feel a little more connected was to watch the same movie at the same time. It’s so easy to do these days with all of the online streaming (we also did this with a TV series, and I highly recommend West World if you haven’t given it a try..). We texted during it, and talked like we would if we were sitting next to each other. It may seem silly, but having a shared experience like that gives you something to talk about and a common interest. Plus, it was a set time that we set aside to focus on each other, which meant a lot to me. I plan to see if my mom wants to start a new series together soon! This could go for many other examples, like reading the same book, cooking the same recipe, etc.
LETTERS
The art of the hand written letter is nearly extinct. I am actually lucky enough to have a shoe-box full of them from almost only the last two years. Some of my quality friends made the effort to leave me hand written notes at work or in my home. And I cherish them! This year, take a few minutes to jot down a sweet thought and leave it for someone you love. Send it in the mail or leave it on the kitchen counter! It effort and thought that goes into a letter is a great way to show someone you love them.
Authenticity is crucial to intimate relationships. It is so important that the people you love see you as present, and that they are important to you. These tips are ways to do that, rather than more superficial ways of “connecting”. On the same note for authenticity, I have some specific tips here, but be authentic to who you are. You can and should show those people that you love them in your very own way, because they love you for who you are and that love you have is what they want to see.
Close relationships are worth the effort! Make your New Year’s resolution to keep the important connections in your life. If you can show the people you love how important they are to you, I promise you will be rewarded. Doing these things for other people really does so much more for ourselves.
Keep connected,
Kelsey